Hoping to ride the new wave of slasher flicks of the 1980s, the filmmakers cast an unknown, low-cost group of eager young people who weren’t afraid to get a little dirty for their respective parts. “ Pieces… It’s exactly what you think it is!” Taglineįilmed in Madrid (and featuring some stock footage of Massachusetts) with a meager $300,000, Pieces is directed by Spanish exploitation director Juan Piquer Simon. They decided to go with ‘alien abduction’… and boy does my ass hurt. But you’re not here to read about my afternoon… So lets get to the movie. Yada, yada, yada, just a typical dream… When I woke up, three men in black suits were talking about which fantastical manufactured memory implant they wanted to put in the dark recesses of by mind. “You’re a little older than what I’m used to, but what the hell.” Kevin Spacey When they reach me the man removes his weathered cowboy hat, wicks away the sweat from his brow and says in a seductive tone: Cutting through the heat haze between the blue sky and the sandy Earth beneath him, I see a rider slowly approaching, it’s Kevin Spacey on a white horse with an erection (the horse, not Kevin).
Using a hand to shield my eyes from the sunlight, I focus my gaze on a figure off in the distance.
The warm sun beats on my face, the gritty sand moves and grinds under my weight. I dreamt about lying on a sandy dune in the middle of a vast desert. My rippling muscles tensed and pulsated in rapid succession until eventually I succumbed to a lack of oxygen to my brain and blacked out. … There I was, about to beat the final level of POLYBIUS when I started spasming and foaming at the mouth.
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